Did you know over 3 million people die from alcohol abuse each year? Or that 10% of Americans over the age of 12 suffers from alcohol abuse disorder? Lastly, 60% of Americans increased their alcohol use during COVID-19 lockdown! Statics and further information can be found at National Center for
The woman above name is Jasmine, she's a resilient individual recovering from alcoholism. I got the chance to interview her regarding her journey and let me tell you her growth is worth celebrating so CONGRATULATIONS JASMINE! I'm proud of you!
*I hope everyone enjoy this read as much as I did!
At what age did you start drinking and what was going on in your life that jump started your addiction?
Jasmine: I began drinking at 16years old. I went to a birthday party surrounded by my closest friends and we all took shots of vodka at a hotel room (Very disgusting, but the rush of energy was empowering and exhilarating). It didnt take long for me to try it again. The next couple times were with my bestfriend.
By the time I was 18 and in my senior year my drinking was of concern to my peers. Prior to all this I had wrestled against suicidal intrusions and self-hate from 7th grade on up. Looking back and knowing what I know today, I'm sure there is some chemical imbalances and emotional things that’s been passed down in the women in my family. I had also endured some molestation in younger years that alcohol initially helped with forgetting.
What's the harshest truth you heard about yourself during that period?
Jasmine: I had always found some sort of validity in calling myself a “functioning alcoholic”, but to be told and confronted with how much control of my life I didn’t have was hard. I actually got aggressive and very defensive when approached with this reality.
You're known for being a woman of faith, can you speak about your battle while being involved in the church?
Jasmine: This is probably that hardest question for me to answer emotionally. I have always known my spiritual calling since I was like 8/9 years old. The thing with our spiritual calling is: They are apart of us like DNA, however, we do have free will. We either use those gifts to glorify God, or the Devil. It seems pretty black and white, but that’s my beliefs on how that works. All that to say, I definitely crossed paths with a lot of people and created a lot of poor relationships that didn’t glorify God. It’s probably the thing I feel most ashamed about. I’m not ashamed about being human and falling off as a Christian. I'm ashamed because unlike most, I’ve always known my path in this life, and I took that for granted and brung so many others down with me. In AA we talk about making amends and apologizing. Making things right with the relationships that alcoholism tramples over. It’s common to find that the hardest relationship to mend is the one inside you. I’m still learning how to forgive myself. I can’t say that I have completely done that just yet…
What was the wake up call moment for you?
Jasmine: My wake up call moments were all after my choice to pursue sobriety. I had been in and out of the hospital for days at a time for my drinking. Anytime I chose to stop or had to stop drinking for a couple of hours; My body would go through so much. I would vomit so much that blood would start to show up in my vomit which was really only spit because I wouldn’t have eaten for long periods of time. After the stomach fluids come up, and you can do is dry-heave, and do the act of vomiting but nothing really cane up after 10 and 11 times. I would go through having “the shakes”. It was terrible (which is why, in order to avoid this, I would drink a shot or two everyday). On September 30th, 2022 I went in to emergency for alcohol withdrawal. That same day, It was the first time I actually said I want to be sober. Like not for a little while, few days. I knew it was a life long commitment. I just didn’t want to be sick like that again, and I didn’t want to see my mom hurt like that. I just said “Mom what’s today’s date? Let’s remember this day”. From there, everything else just fell in place. God always has a plan, and has the tools. He’s just waiting for us to say yes. A couple months later I realized my family was putting things in place in the event of my potential death. That’s how bad things were spiraling for me. Everyone else saw it, I guess I just chose to ignore it.
If you could go back in time and talk to your 18 years old self, what would you say?
Jasmine: I would have told her to lean on her family more emotionally. Not just telling her, but showing her that she is not alone in the fight against suicidal depression. I also would have advised her to see a psychiatrist/therapist.
How long have you been sober and whose your biggest supporters?
Jasmine: I've been sober closing in on a year and 5 months. My biggest supporters are my Family, Best Friend (Diam) and My Boyfriend.
What advice do you have for anyone struggling with alcoholism?
Jasmine: First off there are many resources! The day I went to the hospital and decided that I wanted to be sober, I was completely expecting to be admitted into a rehab facility for a while. A few days later my physician just happened to mention a shot called “vivtrol” which is a monthly injection that acts and does exactly what naltrexone does. This coupled with therapy twice a week and AA meetings twice a week was the perfect solution for me. AA seems cliché, but it really helps to give you a sense of belonging and to talk to/with people who can relate. Others who haven’t fought that demon can only hear you out, they can’t really understand unless they’ve been there themselves.
I would like to add two things in closing:
1. For those who have family or friends who deal with alcoholism; the most important thing you can do is continue to love that person. You don’t necessarily have to give that person access to you. You don’t have to give them money (actually would suggest against), but continue to love them. Call and check on them, make sure they ate that day, pray for them, give them a hug. Don’t bash them every chance you get. It goes a long way in that person’s healing process.
2. The journey through sobriety is a major make or break in a relationship. It has been a very interesting and maturing journey in that aspect for my boyfriend and I. I could write a book on that aspect alone.
Alcohol support resources:https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Call 1-800-662-4357 | SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
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