A Conversation About Motherhood With Brittanie Kammers

As many of you may know, I'm no stranger to motherhood and can recount each delivery like yesterday. Although I'm not the biological mother of our oldest, I still get sappy looking at his baby photos. Can anyone relate?

There's a woman by the name Brittanie Kammers who loves motherhood like no other. She's the creator of "Spill The Milk", a Facebook support group for moms that I personally joined and found extremely helpful.

I got a chance to interview her and we both got pretty emotional throughout the process. These heartfelt conversations that's been taking place on this platform have been life changing. Advocates like Brittanie, don't realize how much of an impact they have on society and that's why I feel she deserves "her flowers"! 💐

Thank you for being the amazing human that you are! I hope your light continues to shine and touch others.

Everyone meet Brittanie!

Can you recall the moment you found out you were pregnant with your daughter?

Brittanie: Oh absolutely, still to this day I remember the exact time the test showed two Blue lines. It was April 4th 2022 (it was a Monday) at 12:01pm. I felt the change within my soul a couple weeks prior and subconsciously knew my menstrual was not going to come. In fact that Saturday prior, my fiancé and great friend and I went to shoot pool and socially drink, but I sat out on the drinking part because again, like I said, I truly felt something change in me from within.

What aspects of your life have change since becoming a mother?

Brittanie: This may be cliche, but every aspect. From the way I carry myself to the conversations I hold with one another. I was raised by a single mother, and my upbringing wasn’t the greatest, but my mother did her absolute best. I remember growing older playing with my dolls and I would just use my imagination on how much of a great mother I would be one day, but not even all the things I spoke on can compare to the reality of being who I am in this very moment. Having my daughter is my answered prayer. She changed me for the better; As an adult, I actually struggled to conceive and for such a long time I believed I would never have one of my own. I doubted God because I would pray and pray just to feel like he wasn’t listening. I later learned that any prayer doesn’t necessarily come right when you ask for it, it comes when you need it the most.

You created a Facebook group called "Spill The Milk", can you tell readers more about it?

Brittanie: So “Spill the milk” was made Jan 20th, 2023 and basically this page is for each and every single mother searching for a group with other mothers who may be going through what that particular mother may be going through. I remember rocking my daughter (she was about 3- 3 1/2 months at the time) just crying,because from one thing no one tells you is how lonely motherhood can be, wether you are happily married or have a village to help you. I was in such a state where yes, I have a supportive fiancé who does his absolute best, but he worked 2 jobs at the time because I, just like about 15% worldwide, was suffering severe ppd/ ppa. I had my daughter premature, so I did have to have an emergency c-section. I couldn’t work, this was my first time being a mother, she was day & night confused, so I was completely sleep deprived, still healing from my surgery, with all these intrusive thoughts running through my brain. I had to do something, I had to reach out, I had to figure out “how can I make myself feel better of myself”. So I created this page. “Spill the milk” asks when becoming a member “have you ever spilled the milk?” However, the question doesn’t just mean, have you physically spilled milk, but it also is asking, “have you vented out your emotions before?” This page has saved my sanity.

Before becoming a mother, what was your #1 motivation in life?

Brittanie: Before becoming a mother to my biological daughter, my #1 motivation was my daughter who I was blessed with years prior, because again, after so much of trying to conceive, I gave up, and when mentally telling myself I was done trying, I shifted my focus to my, what many would call them, “bonus child”. I was motivated to be such an amazing role model to her, and to work on becoming a wife to my best friend, and to just focus on my aspirations in life, the typical American dream.

How do you cope with mom guilt?

Brittanie: Mom guilt can take such a huge toll on you. At first, for me I beat myself up because my daughter was born prematurely and after I spent 4 days in the hospital, I had to leave my daughter (I wish that on no one). To leave a place without the reason why you went there killed me inside. I didn’t get to experience the things my friends talked about. She had to stay for an additional 6 days after I left. What helped me cope best during those specific times was pumping (I am a breastfeeding mother). I would pump and at every single feeding (except for her late night/ early morning feedings) and I would drive myself 4-9 days pp and bring her, her milk, so they could put it in her tubes, and I would just hold her and sing Angel of mine by Monica. More recently, now that she is a toddler, I do apologize to her. If I cannot grab her in that second she wants me to, I finish what I am doing, and I grab her and hold her and apologize. When it comes to late nights when the house is asleep, I typically lay in my bed and write to myself on how I can be better than the day before.

How do you plan to expand "Spill The Milk" presence within the next year?

Brittanie: I plan to take it day by day. When a woman on my direct Facebook page announces that they are expecting, after congratulating them, I invite them to my “spill the milk”page, followed by a nice welcoming to Motherhood message, because at one point I was right where they are, it can be scary for some, and I personally believe support from the start is what each mother needs. This summer I plan on doing weekly walks with all the mothers from my mama page (in my city) and from there, I do believe word will get around, and it will expand in that way as well. That is something I am personally excited for.

What is one thing that you want your daughter and readers to know about womanhood?

Brittanie: Womanhood is such a beautiful journey! We are created to be nurturers, so with that, we as woman, are the definition of love. Without women, life cannot be. You do not have to become a mother to fulfill the definition of ”womanhood”, however to see your genes in a little human that YOUR body created is beyond impeccable. You, as a woman, get the opportunity to create this blueprint of how your kids, and their kids, and their kids kids will view life itself. Something I always hear is, “well my mom raised me this way, I could never be that way” DONT! You have the full power within to shift and redirect the next generation. You are in control, you are one of a kind, you are the ending of that generational curse. You are smart, you are driven, you are a blessing, you are needed, life is better with you in it. You are worthy, you are what creates life, you are a phenomenal woman🩷

Join "Spill The Milk" Here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/497532792558345/